Life/Fashion Coach-Reflections on 2016

The latter half of 2016 was wonderful. I enjoyed working with clients to remove their self-imposed barriers. I cheered them on as they got promotions at work, improved their romantic relationships, streamlined their businesses and made lifestyle changes resulting in significant weight loss. I also expanded from life coaching into fashion coaching, working with clients to pursue their dreams and find their personal sense of style.

Now, the irony of me being a fashion coach, is shopping was not my favorite pass-time (going from store to store used to be my idea of torture); while I find Vogue entertaining it is hardly a life obsession. In fact, my ever glamorous best friend let out a hearty laugh when I told her about the expansion into fashion. With an amused smile, she asked ‘Do you actually have any fashion clients yet?’ and in a way too perky tone, I replied, ‘Yaass’.

It all started when some of my clients who lost weight were still dressing ‘fat’; you know still wearing baggy clothes to cover their stomachs or hiding behind black/dark tones. So I took them shopping and got them to try different styles with varied textures and colors. We talked about the outfits and accessories that make them feel great inside and look amazing on the outside.  I reminded them that fashion is not about what the catwalk deems stylish; ney it is about but what makes men feel dapper and reminds women of their true beauty.

Yes, in 2016 mine was a front row seat to my clients changing their mind-sets, their style and their lives. I am excited about 2017, I hope you are too. Continue to look within and pull out the very best version of yourself.

How To Make A Change

‘An object remains at rest or at constant speed unless acted upon by a force.’ Not my words but Newton’s in his first law of motion. The simple truth is, if there is something stagnant in your life, it will remain so unless you do something. If you are not happy with your current trajectory do something about it or nothing will change.

But what does doing something look like? What type of force needs to be applied to make a change effective and lasting?  A physics lover would remind us that energy is the product of force and distance, so the amount of force is proportional to the energy put in. So do not just say ‘I am going to make a change ’, boldly state ‘I will exert the energy required to make a positive to change in my life’. Then go and do just that.

Engineers at this time may point out a simple manipulation of Ohm’s law shows that resistance is a function of energy;  when you exert energy, resistance is a scientific probability- so don’t be surprised when it seems like your ‘well meaning’ family and friends are putting up road blocks to you achieving. It is not shocking its science! So keep pressing forward, even if in the beginning it appears that there is no movement and no progress. Keep applying the right type of energy and go the distance (after all energy is a function of distance).

So go on confidently declare, ‘I will exert the energy required to make a positive to change in my life despite resistance despite obstacles’…. And do just that!

Enjoy Little Things (Spiritual Blessings)

A Spiritual Blessing  

penned by J Buchanan (Inspired by the Holy Spirit)

May God be your Processo, a reminder of the sparkle he placed in you, an accessible taste of luxury.

May the Most High be your Champagne, symbolic of both the wealth and bubbleness that overflows in all aspects of your life.

May the love of God be your sweet brown Rum, wonderful on its own yet the most important ingredient to the cocktail of life.

Amen

The text above made me laugh today; not a riotous lol where I literally laughed out loud, more a sqtm.  You know smiling quietly to myself. Some say ‘appreciate the little things’ but should you to do more than appreciate and cherish; should you aim to enjoy small moments?  If the answer is yes, I challenge you to make it happen but keep it simple.

  • Appreciate being able to move when so many are crippled with pain, you may find pleasure in 5 minutes of chair dancing or exercising.
  • Cherish your family, tell a joke that encourages shared laughter.

Yes, can be that simple to enjoy the little blessings. That is if you choose to enjoy…..

 

 

Pause:Dealing with Death

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It was the evening of Monday 11-Jul-16, I remember it well; I was preparing for my regular coaching clients when I got a watsapp message which read, ‘sad news today Marisa Supia died’. Truth is I expected another message saying ‘the old her is gone and she has re-emerged more fabulous than ever’ or something in that vein, something that said she was not really dead. You see Marisa was not just my regular Monday 9pm Life Coaching client; she was person I respected greatly, a vibrant young woman determined to make her life better and impact those around her. Conceptually and practically, I know life is finite; but there was something about that night, about me preparing for her coaching session when she had already left this earth that made me pause.

As I paused I thought of some of my happiest memories at childhood sitting at the feet of my grandmother gleaning a fraction of her wisdom; I thought of my learnings from past relationships. I thought of my passion, empowering others to achieve their very best, I smiled as I thought of the progress my clients have made pressing forward to achieve their goals. I chuckled with my work colleagues about the scientific discovery that the chicken really did come before the egg. I laughed with (and at myself) as I reflected on my life, my decisions and the necessary adjustments required.

I paused but I was not passive.  This is my challenge to you, no passive pausing, find the time to actively reflect on your dreams and more importantly the necessary adjustments required to achieve your dreams.  If you want some assistance, drop me a note at lcjoiedvivre@gmail.com.

 

 

 

Brexit: Latin Dance? (different perspective)

What if, we consider taking one step backwards and three to the side not as defeat, but as the Cha Cha Cha or some variation of it?  What if, in the wake of the Brexit vote we applaud the active political engagement and passion of our country? What if, we imagine both sides of the campaign were dancing Latin, and acknowledge one was doing the simple salsa while the other well the Cha Cha?  Would our perspective and our reactions be different- if we thought both sides campaigned and voted for their version of a better, stronger UK?

No one with an iota of common sense thinks that ‘happy thoughts’ or forced positive energy will stave off any negative economic and social impacts resulting from the vote. That being said, I am certain that those visionaries who can see past today’s emotion will be successful. Some will seize opportunity in business and career, others will go into education or politics to help steer the country, still others may choose to migrate to raise the standard of living for their families.

So the real question is, will you embrace your inner visionary? Have you committed to being informed, to closely watch the direction of the economy and glean knowledge to make smart decisions? Will you challenge yourself to seek opportunities not just financial but also personal and spiritual? Will you be the visionary that brings a fresh wave of Latin dance lessons, which may be ironic given the post-Brexit wave of xenophobia?

#Lookwithin: in times of uncertainty, take a fresh look at your goals? Are they still realistic? What extra mitigation is required to ensure you stay on track?

#Lookwithin: What are your hidden strengths that you can capitalize on at this time? More importantly, what are the negative believes you need to  shed, to allow yourself to be successful?

 

 

Want to find out more? Email lcjoiedvivre@gmail.com to arrange a free 15 minute Life coaching consultation.

Understanding: Interracial Relationships

I lost my blogging virginity about a month ago, when I introduced Joie D’Vivre (lcjoiedvivre@gmail.com) the life coach who offers really simple practical suggestions.  My post since then have been about helping readers understand what life coaching is; since the daily prompt today is understanding I thought why not get on the band wagon.

There is a story I love. It is about a young black British-Caribbean woman (let us call her Miss L for ease) in her early twenties. She arranged to meet  her childhood guy friend (Mr O) and his new girlfriend in London. Thou Miss L had never met the girlfriend, she was party to several conversations about her attributes and interest including her love of dance and the fact that her derriere was lovely.  When Miss L arrived at the meeting place, she gives Mr O  (a tall dreadlock wearing tall black man) a big hug; she then turned to her right to say hi to the black woman who had been standing next to him. But she had already started walking away. With acquired British ease, Miss L smiled as the white woman on her left, was introduced as the girlfriend. While she had to admit the girlfriend’s derriere was indeed lovely, she also had to admit that it is was 2006 and she had made an assumption about the girlfriend’s race based on stereotypes.

Miss L briefly explained race in the Caribbean islands; how in her grandparents generation many felt that  marrying white was marrying up. In fact her father’s god-mother told her mum, ‘I don’t know why he married you, we sent him away to school to better himself and marry a white woman’. Mr O and Miss L parents were in the  next generation of educated black professionals who where strongly influenced by the ‘black is beautiful movement’ and tried to discard of the notion that ‘marrying white was marrying right’. They and their childhood friends where raised to be proud of their skin color, to celebrate the rich Caribbean and African history that flows in their veins.

Following the meeting the two friends had a frank, open conversation, done in a way that only true friends can. Mr O explained that dating a white lady had nothing to with him feeling inferior as a black man and everything to do with him falling in love with his friend and dance partner. You see Mr O was open to possibilities while Miss L lacked understanding and she did not even know it, yes the initials chosen where deliberate :).

The simple truth is we only seek to increase our understanding, if we know there is a gap in our knowledge and we actually want to close those gaps.

#Lookwithin- Do you want to close your knowledge gaps and increase your understanding? Then again, perhaps there are somethings you do not want or need to understand.